Please Don't Steal My Sunshine
Did you ever have a great news or a story to share
with friends only to have them one up you with a
bigger and better comeback?
This grinds my gears...
Well it happen to my wife as she shared some good
news with a close friend. She assured me she wasn't
boasting and was merely sharing some catch up news.
Apparently, this friend does this all the time.
So she asked me to share my insights on why people
do this.
I personally dislike this trait myself but I know I
was
asked for my objective professional opinion.
First, you have to consider that this exchange took place
on the phone. Not the best mode to pass judgment on.
Without having the luxury of assimilating other
mannerisms and gestures that may have accompanied the
remark, it could have meant two things.
1. The obvious is that this has little to do with the
who's,
what's or where's that they may be trying to out do you
with. This was clear because they used some distant
friend of a friend to one up her with.
This has everything to do about THEM. It
is habitual
and reactionary and is usually not intended to offend or
slight you. They are probably not even aware they are
doing it. Envy may also play a role.
2. This could be a backhanded way of sharing in the
conversation and identifying with you and your story.
However, in order to substantiate this you should really
observe other body language signals like mirroring.
In the final analysis, let the person who is sharing their
exciting news have their sunshine. Don't interrupt, don't one
up. Just give them your full attention, support and
acknowledgement. Take the high road.
In fact, encourage them to go on and really listen to what
they have to say. Be happy for them. Let them experience
the full effect of telling their story uninterrupted.
You'll find that they will be more relaxed, confident and
without that feeling of competitiveness. You'll be rewarded
with peace and a more engaging conversation as well as the
satisfaction of sharing in another's glory.
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