Body
Language - Lies: Are We All Masters of Deception?
Con
artists, hustlers, card sharks, they all have to lie, it's how
they get by. But we spin stories for our spouses, co-workers
and friends, every day.
There
are those of us, who constantly give in to the pull to tell a
lie. That is why many psychiatrists consider chronic lying a
symptom of a deeper emotional problem such as delusional
thinking, psychopathy or narcissism.
Provocative new research suggests that people lie chronically
for a wide variety of reasons. In a recent article reviewing
100 years of literature on the subject, as well as several
cases in the news, doctors at Yale University find that some
chronic liars are capable, successful, even disciplined people
who embellish their life stories needlessly. They don't suffer
from an established mental illness, as many habitual
fabricators do. They're just...liars.
"Many
of us have known these kinds of people; it's like they wake up
in the morning and have to tell the most preposterous stories
for no apparent reason," said Dr. Charles Dike, a co-author of
the article with Yale psychiatrists Dr. Ezra Griffith and
Madelon Baranoski. Their findings were presented at a recent
conference of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law,
a forensic psychiatry group.
These
men and women are viewed as otherwise normal. Yet they have
this compulsion. As liars, they become more sympathetic
figures. They are neither as manipulative or malicious as they
may seem. They are at least predictable.
"In
these cases where there is no underlying mental problem," Dike
said, "we then can ask: What about the individual's life is
causing this abnormal pattern of deception?"
Psychologists have long known that some deception is a
normal, healthy part of human behavior, often starting in
children as young as 5 or 6. In adulthood, most people lie
routinely, if usually harmlessly, throughout the day. Remember
the Jim Carrey film, Liar, Liar??
In
one continuing experiment, Robert Feldman, a psychologist at
the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, has had people
record their conversations over a couple of days. Watching the
tapes later, the men and women tally their own deceptions. The
average fib rate: three for every 10 minutes of conversation!
"One woman heard herself on the telephone, sympathizing with
her boyfriend who was sick," Feldman said. "At the time of the
conversation, she told us, all she was thinking was, 'What a
big baby.'"
Why
do people lie? To avoid hurting other people's feelings, to
cover our own embarrassment, to reassure the needlessly
anxious, to spare unnecessary headaches. But, the lying
becomes less appropriate when used as an all-purpose coping
strategy.
A
behavior common to nearly all chronic liars is that they
change their behavior when caught. "One person who I went to
college with would make up fantastic stories, saying he was
going off to Europe, for example," said Dike. "Then you would
see him later that evening. He'd say, 'Oh, the trip was
canceled at the last minute.' There was always an
explanation."
On
psychological tests, chronic liars do show evidence of a
neurological imbalance. They have highly developed verbal
skills combined with slight impairment in the frontal lobes of
the brain, which critically examine what we're saying.
One
psychiatrist who studied pathological liars in the early 1900s
described what he called a "double consciousness" in which a
person runs two narratives in their head, a desired life and
an actual one, with the former often overwhelming the latter.
We
all daydream. We all buffer ourselves against painful truths
and massage the past. The pathological liar's biggest
violation may be simply in taking those private deceptions
public.
How
can you always tell when someone is lying to YOU?
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