Even
if you say all the right things, you're only halfway to being
hired. An at a glance guide to sending the right signals for
success. by Paul Bibeau (Reprinted with permission -
article appeared in the June 1998 issue of Mademoiselle)
You
just got the call from the office where you interviewed last
week. Your resume was good and your credentials were sterling
- but you didn't make the cut. What happened?
In the
pressure-cooker world of the job interview, where you have
about half an hour to convince someone to pick you, sometimes
it boils down to a "vibe" you give off. Here is where body
language - the signals you send through your posture and
gestures - comes into play. In a study conducted by
anthropologist Ray Birdwhistell, Ph.D., people watching a
verbal exchange between two other people based 65 percent of
their impression on the nonverbal signals exchanged.
"If a person's body language contradicts her words, people
will tend to believe what they see," says Hilka Klinkenberg,
author of At Ease....Professionally (Bonus Books,
1992), and managing director of Etiquette International, a New
York City consulting firm. Just follow the steps below, and
you'll soon be emitting a crystal-clear message that says,
"Hire me."
Prepare Yourself for the Big Day.
A week before you go in, advises Klinkenberg, practice sitting
in a straight-backed chair without fidgeting. One trick that
can help you be more aware - and more in control - of your
movements, she adds, is wearing wrist weights. The added
weight will make it harder for you to jerk your hands around
while you talk. Also, grab a friend to get the "feel" of arm's
length distance. "If you're standing closer than that to your
interviewer," says Klinkenberg, "you'll invade her personal
space." (However, if you stand more than three to four feet
away, you run the risk of looking aloof.)
And
wear your new suit once or twice beforehand, to get
comfortable in it. Finally, practice your handshake. When you
shake hands with someone for the first time, don't try to wow
her with your firm grip; gauge how your shake does it and
gently match her squeeze. "People always consider themselves
the yardstick for what's normal," says Donald Moine, Ph.D.,
president of the Association for Human Achievement, a
consulting firm in Palos Verdes, California. By copying your
interviewer's grip, you will appear solid and friendly - an
ideal choice for someone who will sit in the office next door.
Don't be a slouch.
Good posture isn't about standing at tin-soldier attention;
it's about carrying yourself so you look as if you have a
spine and a purpose. the key to waling tall is knowing where
you're going, says Klinkenberg. "Don't make a move until you
see where you're headed." Then, she adds, when you're parking
yourself in the interview chair, plant your butt firmly
against the seat so your back is supported. Don't sit so
straight that you need a chiropractor the next day. During the
inquisition - uh, the interview - breathe frequently and
deeply. This may sound obvious, but many people forget in the
stress of the moment, says Klinkenberg. Shift your posture if
necessary, especially during long sessions.
Avoid the evil eye.
There's nothing like a shifty gaze or glazed stare to make an
interviewer think, "This woman is like Peter Lorre's kid
sister. I don't want to share a neighborhood with her - let
alone an office." Instead, maintain eye contact for five to
seven seconds at a time, especially when listening to a
question. Eye contact doesn't mean boring straight into her
pupils. The trick, says Kevin Hogan, Ph.D., author of
Psychology of Persuasion
(Pelican, 1996), is to trace the inverted triangle formed by
her eyes and nose and let your gaze move around in that area.
Finally, Dr. Hogan suggests, when you want a positive response
to something you're saying (such as "I'd really like to work
here"), tilt your head slightly and give a small, sincere
smile. "It reminds us of the way our mother looked at us," Dr.
Hogan says.
Make
your hands talk, not yell.
When gesturing, says Dr. Hogan, imagine a box that goes from
your chin to your waist and is as wide as your shoulders.
"Keep all your gestures in that box," he says. "Make sure when
you move your hands, they remain closer to your body than your
elbows are." The result: Your hand movements appear controlled
and unthreatening. What about when the interviewer asks a real
toughie? You know, the one that really has no good answer,
like, "Why are you leaving your job?" While you say your
piece, Dr. Hogan recommends that you keep your hands folded
together with your fingers locked inward in a "here's the
church, here's the steeple" position. That way, they can't
drum, tap, fiddle nervously or do anything else that would
give you away. (Don't hold them too tightly, though, or you'll
look as if you're clenching your fists.)
And one
more tip about fingers: Don't point. It reminds people of
being scolded, says Klinkenberg. Use your whole hand and
gesture with an open palm when you need to indicate something
- like the interviewer's diploma on the wall, your resume or
the car you'll win if you pick what's behind curtain number
three.
Get
a leg up on the competition.
Avoid crossing your legs, and under no circumstances put one
leg completely over your knee. "It looks like you are trying
to put a barrier [i.e., your shin] between yourself and the
interviewer. She can read this as a defensive posture," says
Dr. Hogan. "More important, it hampers your blood
circulation." You're in a job interview: You're going to need
all the blood you can get circulating through your noggin.
Remember: Your legs are supposed to carry you to and from the
office, then sit there quietly. If they become part of the
conversation - or cause you to black out from blood loss -
something's wrong.
By
themselves, these moves are obviously no substitute for
education and experience. But in the business world, where
companies will be comparing you with other equally qualified
candidates,
body language could give you the edge you need to get your
foot - and the rest of you - in the door.
-Three Lie Detectors-
We know you're honest.
And you know you're honest. But if you break into a barrage of
facial tics, the interviewer is not going to be so convinced.
Here are the top dishonesty flags; avoid them, and you'll look
cleaner than a preacher's daughter.
TOUCHING YOUR FACE.
Scratching around the mouth or cheek area is considered a dead
giveaway that you are lying. And even under the best of
circumstances, it looks kinda weird and gross. "There is
nothing good you can do with your hands above the chin during
an interview," says Dr. Hogan.
CROSSING YOUR ARMS.
People read this as a defensive, nervous gesture. You might
not feel this way; it might simply be a position you find
comfortable. But perceptions are what count here.
BREAKING EYE CONTACT.
You don't have to stare, but it's important to look your
interviewer in the eye when she's asking you a question.
Shifting your gaze suggests that you have qualms about what
she's saying. Once the interviewer is finished, it's okay to
look away momentarily before answering, as long as your eyes
come back when you start speaking again.
To learn more about how you can begin to read body language
like an expert,
To learn more about decoding body language click here!
